The fact that jewelry pissed off my husband
Dear Abby: I have been married to my loving husband for 28 years. We have a great relationship, and are soul mates.
On holidays and birthdays, my husband is generous, but he buys me jewelry that suits him for him Not my taste. He likes a specific style that I don’t care about at all, so it’s unworn in my wardrobe.
After all these years, he finally asked me why I never wear the jewelry he gives me, and I politely replied that I don’t care about this style of silver jewelry.
Well, last Christmas morning, what did you find under the tree? You guessed it! Another piece of this type of jewelry. I kind of lost it and told him he’s wasting his money, I’d rather he give me jewelry to match Mine Taste instead of him.
I didn’t intend to hurt his feelings, but I did, and he was very angry. Instead of honoring my desire for something I can enjoy and appreciate, I will probably never see another piece of jewelry from it. (By the way, he does that on holidays too. He’s making reservations without telling me.)
Was I wrong in expressing myself in the end? Could I have handled it differently?
Not my style in the south
Dear not my style: Your mistake was letting this problem get worse before it got worse with your husband, who just squandered heaven now – he knows how much money on jewelry doesn’t satisfy you.
You both seem to be having trouble communicating. He should have paid attention when you told him not to buy you any more silver jewellery, and he should have consulted you before unilaterally booking your vacation reservations. But nothing will change unless you explain how you feel about these things, and whether he’s willing to listen.
Dear Abby: I’m looking for advice for dealing with a big step my wife and I are making. We live in Florida and plan to move to West Virginia.
We both entered into our marriage with two children. She is 25 and 20 years old. I am 22 and 20 years old. We’ve worked so hard during the 14 years we’ve been together, and we’ve decided that now was the time for “us.”
Our girls, 25 and 22 years old, seem to understand, but boys have a hard time with it. My wife is more prone to the “poor me” routine than boys and she seems to be rocking.
We left open the possibility that the boys would come with us, but they didn’t want to live in “boring” West Virginia. My opinion is that the “boys” are no longer children and can live on their own.
I think we set strong examples of how to live and work hard, and she and I deserve to do our work at this time. Am I thinking about things the wrong way?
My dad is free in Florida
my dear father: My question to you would be to what extent these 20-year-olds can support themselves, or how long you plan to help them transition to independence. Are they still in school? Do they have jobs? Can they live on their own? It’s time for a family meeting where everyone puts their cards on the table and options are discussed.
Written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jane Phillips, Dear Abby, it was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.