Terrifying excuses anti-vaccine opponents use to avoid the Covid-19 shot

Despite FDA approval and multiple studies proving it provides lifesaving immunity, many people across the United States are refusing to get a Covid-19 vaccine. Here are the most terrifying excuses that vaccination opponents use to avoid vaccination.

2 / 22

“I dated Dr. Fauci in college and he was an idiot.”

“I dated Dr. Fauci in college and he was an idiot.”

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Sure, it would be nice to hold on to your ex by never getting vaccinated, but he’d probably be pretty arrogant if she died too.

3 / 22

“My neighbor got vaccinated, and three days later I killed him.”

“My neighbor got vaccinated, and three days later I killed him.”

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Stop confusing causation and correlation!

4 / 22

“I grew up in a country that taught me poorly, where the right-leaning party tends to my worst inclinations and the left-leaning person uses esoteric vocabulary and a system of elitism to alienate me and treat me like an inferior. This is my way of exercising little control over my life.”

“I grew up in a country that taught me poorly, where the right-leaning party tends to my worst inclinations and the left-leaning person uses esoteric vocabulary and a system of elitism to alienate me and treat me like an inferior. This is my way of exercising little control over my life.”

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God, these people are a bunch of damned idiots, aren’t they?

5 / 22

“You put a bomb at a train station and it will detonate automatically if you receive a vaccination.”

“You put a bomb at a train station and it will detonate automatically if you receive a vaccination.”

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There is no way they could communicate something like this.

6 / 22

“I’m afraid the technician running the shot won’t like me.”

“I’m afraid the technician running the shot won’t like me.”

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While social anxiety is a real mental illness that millions across the country must grapple with, a competent therapist will encourage his or her patient to face their fears and get vaccinated anyway.

7 / 22

“I don’t want to have anything in common with Bill Pullman.”

“I don’t want to have anything in common with Bill Pullman.”

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Justice.

8 / 22

“She actually died of Covid-19 last year.”

“She actually died of Covid-19 last year.”

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fair too.

9 / 22

“There is still a lot we don’t know about the ocean.”

“There is still a lot we don’t know about the ocean.”

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Anything could be lurking in the dark depths of the sea, but this is neither here nor there.

10 / 22

“The shot will affect your menstrual cycle.”

“The shot will affect your menstrual cycle.”

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The vaccine has absolutely no effect on the menstrual cycle which is fully controlled by the Moon.

11 / 22

“I will lose half my sight when they pierce my eyeball.”

“I will lose half my sight when they pierce my eyeball.”

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The mRNA misinformation is nothing compared to the fear tactics that convince people that the vaccine needle goes through their pupil or, alternatively, up to the urethra.

12 / 22

“I’m too busy pedophilia to get an injection.”

“I’m too busy pedophilia to get an injection.”

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Unfortunately, there is no easy way around this excuse. If they are busy, they are busy.

13 / 22

“It’s against my Sensei token.”

“It’s against my Sensei token.”

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Opponents of vaccination like to act as if it was their master stopping them from getting a jab, even though no samurai actually cared whether his pupil was vaccinated.

14 / 22

“I will not enter Heaven.”

“I will not enter Heaven.”

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Maybe, but you’ll be allowed access to the nearest Six Flags location, and that’s arguably fine.

15th / 22

“I have grill in the oven”

“I have grill in the oven”

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Anti-jammers will pretend like they’ve roasted in the oven to avoid getting the shot, a facade that easily crumbles when you stress them about how to roast and what sides they’re preparing.

16 / 22

“I already had lunch.”

“I already had lunch.”

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There is a common misconception that the Covid-19 vaccine is a delicacy and satiating, when it is hardly an appetizer.

17 / 22

“Covid is not that bad anyway.”

“Covid is not that bad anyway.”

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Since so many people have survived the disease, anti-vaccination advocates argue that the coronavirus is like a deadly cold from which millions of drama queens have died.

18 / 22

“I’ve already got a big pacifier, so I don’t need one.”

“I’ve already got a big pacifier, so I don’t need one.”

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Anti-vaccinators often use an excuse like this while licking a huge lollipop they got from the local candy store and they don’t need a lollipop from the doctor. This neglects to take into account that they can put on the rolled pacifier and continue on their fun path with the existing pacifier.

19 / 22

“Bill Gates Putting Microchips in Vaccines.”

“Bill Gates Putting Microchips in Vaccines.”

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In fact, Bill Gates has absolutely no interest in tracking where you are unless you are one of the people who spotted him on Jeffrey Epstein’s Island.

20 / 22

“No one survived.”

“No one survived.”

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Vaccination opponents like to tune in to disturbing information, such as the fact that billions of corpses have somehow endured the shock of having a needle stuck in their arm.

“Which vaccine?”

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wait. Is there really no vaccine? No, wait. This is how they get you.

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