Red Flags To Look For When Booking An Airbnb

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Listing Says “For Flame Enthusiasts”

Listing Says “For Flame Enthusiasts”

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This is coded language that strongly suggests the location is on fire.

Nothing In The Pictures Looks Damp And Sudsy

Nothing In The Pictures Looks Damp And Sudsy

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A sure sign that they don’t clean the place.

No Picture Of The Family Crest

No Picture Of The Family Crest

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How are you supposed to be sure that a rival clan does not make its dwelling here?

The Pictures Are Dark, Blurry, And Include Your Own Haunted Visage

The Pictures Are Dark, Blurry, And Include Your Own Haunted Visage

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It’s fair to expect clear photos of the space that don’t include your own likeness staring directly into the lens with a look of hollow terror.

The Listing Is Located At “123 Fake Street”

The Listing Is Located At “123 Fake Street”

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There’s a ton of construction happening right now up and down Fake Street.

It’s Not A Geodesic Dome

It’s Not A Geodesic Dome

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If you were looking for a place with only four walls, you would have stayed in a hotel.

The Description Doesn’t Say “Nestled” Anywhere

The Description Doesn’t Say “Nestled” Anywhere

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This is your vacation. You deserve a “nestled.”

Tons Of Positive Reviews

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A huge red flag that your host is 100% going to initiate an uncomfortable conversation with you about how much a positive review would mean to them.

It’s Nicer Than Your House

It’s Nicer Than Your House

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What do they think, that they’re better than you?

Every Review Mentions How Friendly The Bed Bugs Are

Every Review Mentions How Friendly The Bed Bugs Are

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It’s a red flag when they don’t mention other positive attributes about the place.

Unusual Decor

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It’s fine if things are a little fun and quirky, but if the home features taxidermied busts of previous guests and the words “YOU’RE NEXT” scrawled in blood, you may want to keep looking.

It’s Not Your Parents’ House

It’s Not Your Parents’ House

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They still have your room set up the way you left it, so why would you stay anywhere else?

It Only Has 8,575 Reviews

It Only Has 8,575 Reviews

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It won’t feel homey until 10,000 strangers fuck in that apartment.

The House Is On Fire

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Jeez. Not another fire house!

The Owners Sought You Out

The Owners Sought You Out

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If you were sent a handwritten letter from a stranger inviting you by name to stay at their Airbnb in the countryside, it’s time to keep looking.

Host Tells You Not To Open The Locked Door At The End Of The Hall, No Matter What You Hear

Host Tells You Not To Open The Locked Door At The End Of The Hall, No Matter What You Hear

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Too many rules!

Children Mandatory

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There are plenty of family-friendly Airbnbs, but absolutely avoid any that require you to bring at least one “huggable little angel.”

Overselling The City

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I mean, the Hudson Valley is nice, but “the grandeur”?

The Listing Has 11 Close-Up Pictures Of The Same Meat Hook

The Listing Has 11 Close-Up Pictures Of The Same Meat Hook

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It’s a nice meat hook, but don’t book anything without seeing photos of the entire space first.

Vague Language Like “Ocean View”

Vague Language Like “Ocean View”

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If the description boasts of views of the ocean, but doesn’t specify which ocean, that’s a red flag.

All The Photos Have The Owner’s Toes Visible In Them

All The Photos Have The Owner’s Toes Visible In Them

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Hard to pinpoint exactly what the problem is here, but you’re probably better off looking somewhere else.

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