I took a woman to reddit He asks her if she was wrong when she called her soon-to-be husband gay with his fundamentalist mother.
Under the username u/life_after_love, the woman shared her story on the “Am I The A**hole” forum in a post that has garnered more than 19,600 votes since Wednesday.
in the postThe 25-year-old explained that her ex-husband, 28, was gay and hid it from her. She said she only found out what happened after she found him cheating with another man.
“He admitted as much as he knew he wasn’t attracted to me in this way, but wanted kids and a ‘normal’ life,” says u/life_after_love’s post. “I don’t care that he’s gay, but I would never forgive him for driving me around so he could have kids, so it’s over. , end of story.”
u/life_after_love She said that most of her ex-family members are “extremists” who don’t believe in divorce, and that her ex-husband told his family it was her fault.
“His family does not believe in divorce,” u/life_after_love explained. “So, under the guise of picking up some paperwork and other things I found that belonged to my ex-wife [the mother-in-law, or MIL] He cornered me on how childish I am and that marriage is about commitment, tolerance, working through problems, etc. And it became clear that my ex didn’t tell his family that he cheated, and told his mom that I was calling him up because we weren’t having much sex for me.”
u/life_after_love wrote that she tried to be patient and MIL explained to her that the reason for the divorce was actually due to her ex-husband’s cheating. But she said she didn’t want to make it clear that he was with a man because she felt it was not her place to go out with his family.
According to the Human Rights Campaign, a “picnic” is the act of revealing “the LGBT or non-binary gender identity to others without their permission.” The process of disclosing someone’s identity can have serious repercussions for personal safety as well as a person’s family relationships.
In some cases, the act of one’s picnic is considered illegal due to the invasion of privacy and the risk of hostility or rejection. According to the ACLU, it is against the law for school officials to disclose information about a student’s gender identity or gender expression to parents or other school personnel for these reasons.
In a now viral Reddit post, u/life_after_love explained that she was having a really tough day and missed it when MIL told her that if she wanted more sex, she should make herself a “more attractive” and a “better wife” so he wouldn’t “go astray”.
The Redditor wrote, “The plot is completely lost. It was a really sad and difficult day and that was the last straw.” “This is where I might be AH: I told her that the only thing that would make me more attractive to my ex would be a sex change operation and that I hoped he and his friend would adopt some of her grandchildren so she could finally shut the hell up about it. Not my best moment, but it hit my worst.” And the toughest nerve she had and exploded.”
u/life_after_love wrote that her ex-husband’s family blew up the situation and that he “will likely be disowned.” She said her ex-husband called her crying and said she ruined his life though. She said she felt bad that the situation ended as it happened, but she believes her ex-husband “made his bed” too.
In an update, u/life_after_love explained that after finding out about her past infidelity, she found out that he had a boyfriend he had been seeing for six months before he met her. I told NEWSWEEK She met her four years ago and they have been married for almost two years.
u/life_after_love wrote: “He literally created this so he could get the cute Mormons on the roof to keep his family happy.” “That’s it. He didn’t like me at all, I was just the first girl to ever express an interest.”
Of the more than 1,000 comments, many believed that u/life_after_love was actually not at fault for breaking out with her ex because she had few options in the situation.
One user commented, “You got stuck in a corner and blamed for the demise of a relationship that was ultimately BC due to dishonesty.” “You didn’t do it maliciously.”
Others have stated that if a woman’s ex-husband didn’t lie about the situation to his family in the first place, she would have no choice in getting out of it.
“Speaking as an eccentric, forcibly evicted in the past, tortured, rendered homeless, fired from jobs for not being straight – yes, OP [the orginal poster] It’s 100% NTA here,” someone wrote. He’d known it from the start and used it–if he wanted not to go out, he should have made it clear to his family that the breakup was his fault, and he should have told them it was him who caused it.”
Another wrote, “My self is so strongly gay in the ‘never take anyone else out without their consent’ camp.” But this was a somewhat extreme circumstance and the OP was desperate. NTA.”