GOP suspends government funding bill by detonating 50 tons of explosives inside the Capitol

WASHINGTON – In a gambit that experts say could represent a major setback for Democrats’ legislative ambitions, the Republican Party reportedly halted an upcoming government funding bill Tuesday by detonating fifty tons of C-4 explosives inside the Capitol. Describing the decision, political expert Andrew Srinivasan said: “This has been a difficult week for Democrats, and the complete destruction of both houses of Congress combined with the deaths of so many seated progressives will make passing Biden’s agenda even more difficult.” by House Minority Leader Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) for planting and detonating 100,000 pounds of plastic explosives under the legislature as a “cunning political move” and a major blow to the $3.5 trillion reconciliation bill. “It is hard to imagine how President Biden will deal with climate change or the expansion of Medicare after a vote as decisive as [Rep. Mike] Quigley was killed in the resulting explosion. Frankly, the coordination required to blow up the Rotunda Building alone shows how much better the Republicans have been at pacing and walking toward party lines.” At press time, many critics praised Republicans for their restraint in avoiding the nuclear option to eliminate Washington, D.C. with a tactical warhead.

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