Bi-Bsexual Superman Comedy Ruins For Fans Who Prefer Blazing Harmonious Tones

SANTA Cruz, Calif. — Local man Eugene Edgars, lamented to reporters Tuesday that the iconic hero’s good run is over, DC’s recent announcement of Superman duplication has completely ruined the comics for him because he prefers the harmonious tones of the smoldering character. “Oh man, I miss when Superman’s male sexual attraction out there spurted beneath the surface instead of this excessive nonsense drifting into the waking mob,” Edgars said, mentioning whether “The Man of Steel” craves after Lex Luthor, Jimmy Olsen, or Brainiac, It was always more exciting when he had to deal with these consuming feelings of sexual desire knowing he couldn’t act on them. “It’s sad that we’ll no longer have glances between him and Perry White, or those moments when he accidentally bumps his hand against Pete Ross. Now that they’ve gone and explained everything, he’s definitely missing out on a lot of mystery and excitement.” Edgars is said to have taken solace in the fact that he can still return to his Green Lantern comics.

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